My Life, etc.

Over the past few months, I've really thought about what I want to do with my life.  I've come up with various scenarios, but I think my ideal life (for now) would go something like this...

Winter
The holiday season must be spent with friends and family.  I would reside somewhere on the Peninsula close enough to the city for a night out but far enough not to deal with the traffic, parking and homeless people.  I would spend my time ice-skating, decorating and drinking hot chocolate.  I would catch up on my reading, TV and go to a movie every week.  Lots of sleeping.

Christmas!

Spring
I would join my best friend, Adam Shankman, on the So You Think You Can Dance audition circuit.  In between auditions, we would fly back to LA to work on the films he's directing/producing.  I would probably have a starring role in at least one.   After work, we would attend the hottest restaurants, clubs and parties and generally soak in our awesomeness.  The next day, we'd do it all over again.  What do you say, Adam?

BFF 1

Summer
This is the time to travel.  I would take my family and friends to exotic locales, foreign countries or tropical destinations.  We would surf, safari and sin.  (That is only a half joke.)  I would encourage all sorts of shenanigans.  It's our time off, let's have fun!  :)

Safari

Fall
It's time to say good-bye to adventures and experience autumn the way East Coasters do.  Here I come New York City!  Tim Gunn, my East Coast BFF, would send a limo to retrieve me from the airport.  After settling into my swank loft, we would attend the poshest fashion shows and hobnob with Manhattan's elite.  Theater, fashion and shopping would rank above all else.  Of course, I would be committed to public appearances, but I would still have plenty of time for pampering.  How about it, Tim?

BFF 2

So, that's the plan for now.  What do you think?

Live from Hell...

Every year my family takes a vacation. No two vacations are alike, which in our case is a blessing. Our family vacations tend to bring destruction either to us personally or to the cities we temporarily inhabit. The first family vacation that went awry occurred about 5 years ago. We drove to Tahoe in our old minivan. It was a silvery blue Ford Windstar with the license plate “4MEGALS,” which my father explained signified our Irish heritage and the 4 girls in his life. He nearly always followed up with, “not because I’m Mexican and it’s for Miguel.” He laughed at that joke every time he told it. He laughed alone.

On this particular trip, our car broke down on the mountainous rode into Tahoe. Green goop leaked from somewhere inside the guts of the car. My younger sister, Lindsay, and I decided to broadcast a fake news program to detail the dramatic incidents that unfolded. It started when I held a pretend microphone to my mouth and said, “This is Ashley reporting live from hell…” A tradition was born.

The Griswolds understand.

Since that first fateful broadcast, we’ve been fortunate enough to be renewed season after season to report more catastrophic events in the Summers family vacation series. We travelled to New York the summer of 2001. A few months later, 9/11 happened. The summer before Katrina hit, guess who frolicked on Bourbon Street? On another trip to Tahoe, Lindsay broke her arm sledding down a mountain. These are just some highlights. We have played a part in many natural and man-made disasters over the last decade.

Being stuck in a foreign place with your family might seem like an awful idea. You might be right. Your Mom might insist that she doesn’t have any preference on restaurants even though you ALL know that she wants Coco’s. And then when your Dad suggests it, you’ll want to roll your eyes as she feigns surprise. Your sister might annoy you at night by turning the thermostat to Death Valley-like temperatures and keeping you awake because she hears things outside. But when something major happens, I guarantee you’re going to want the people who would do anything for you by your side. Even if they do embarrass you with mildly offensive racist jokes, at least they’re trying to make you laugh.

*Ashley