Live from Hell...

Every year my family takes a vacation. No two vacations are alike, which in our case is a blessing. Our family vacations tend to bring destruction either to us personally or to the cities we temporarily inhabit. The first family vacation that went awry occurred about 5 years ago. We drove to Tahoe in our old minivan. It was a silvery blue Ford Windstar with the license plate “4MEGALS,” which my father explained signified our Irish heritage and the 4 girls in his life. He nearly always followed up with, “not because I’m Mexican and it’s for Miguel.” He laughed at that joke every time he told it. He laughed alone.

On this particular trip, our car broke down on the mountainous rode into Tahoe. Green goop leaked from somewhere inside the guts of the car. My younger sister, Lindsay, and I decided to broadcast a fake news program to detail the dramatic incidents that unfolded. It started when I held a pretend microphone to my mouth and said, “This is Ashley reporting live from hell…” A tradition was born.

The Griswolds understand.

Since that first fateful broadcast, we’ve been fortunate enough to be renewed season after season to report more catastrophic events in the Summers family vacation series. We travelled to New York the summer of 2001. A few months later, 9/11 happened. The summer before Katrina hit, guess who frolicked on Bourbon Street? On another trip to Tahoe, Lindsay broke her arm sledding down a mountain. These are just some highlights. We have played a part in many natural and man-made disasters over the last decade.

Being stuck in a foreign place with your family might seem like an awful idea. You might be right. Your Mom might insist that she doesn’t have any preference on restaurants even though you ALL know that she wants Coco’s. And then when your Dad suggests it, you’ll want to roll your eyes as she feigns surprise. Your sister might annoy you at night by turning the thermostat to Death Valley-like temperatures and keeping you awake because she hears things outside. But when something major happens, I guarantee you’re going to want the people who would do anything for you by your side. Even if they do embarrass you with mildly offensive racist jokes, at least they’re trying to make you laugh.

*Ashley