Where have I been?

Hi Everyone,

In case you haven't noticed, I've been a terrible adventure blogger, but things have been pretty crazy around the Villa.  First off, I'm moving (again).  Second, taking adventures can be expensive.  Third (and most importantly), I've started a new co-blog with the incomparable Beth Rodio.  I'm fantastic at updating it - once a week!  Check it out: http://ashleyandbeth.wordpress.com/.  You will LOVE it!!!

*Ashley

Non-Adventures

My friends have been really great lately giving me suggestions for possible adventures.  They all have at least one thing that they'd love to try but haven't gotten around to.  I appreciate all of the feedback, but here are a few ideas I will NOT be exploring:

1) Shot-gun wedding.  Thanks, but I'll pass.
2) Getting a tattoo and then having it removed.  Yes, this would be 2 separate adventures, but neither appeals to me.
3) Sky-diving.  I have zero interest in jumping out of a plane with a mere piece of fabric as my safety net.
4) Marrying a stranger in Vegas.  If I won't dance with a stranger, I certainly won't marry one.
5) Karaoke.  Listening to people with bad voices perform annoys me more than it should.  Putting myself up for that kind of judgement?  Will.  Not.  Happen.

I still want to hear about your "things I want to do" list.  Remember, they don't have to be grandiose; they must only be something I haven't done before. 

*Ashley

Adventures

Hi Friends,

This is probably going to be one of my shortest posts ever...either you're welcome or I'm sorry. :)  I'm prepping for my 27th year of life.  It's going to be all about adventures, exploration and trying new things.  That's where you come in.  What are some things that you've always wanted to do but have never gotten around to?  I'm taking any and all suggestions, so please post away!  Thanks!

*Ashley

My Life, etc.

Over the past few months, I've really thought about what I want to do with my life.  I've come up with various scenarios, but I think my ideal life (for now) would go something like this...

Winter
The holiday season must be spent with friends and family.  I would reside somewhere on the Peninsula close enough to the city for a night out but far enough not to deal with the traffic, parking and homeless people.  I would spend my time ice-skating, decorating and drinking hot chocolate.  I would catch up on my reading, TV and go to a movie every week.  Lots of sleeping.

Christmas!

Spring
I would join my best friend, Adam Shankman, on the So You Think You Can Dance audition circuit.  In between auditions, we would fly back to LA to work on the films he's directing/producing.  I would probably have a starring role in at least one.   After work, we would attend the hottest restaurants, clubs and parties and generally soak in our awesomeness.  The next day, we'd do it all over again.  What do you say, Adam?

BFF 1

Summer
This is the time to travel.  I would take my family and friends to exotic locales, foreign countries or tropical destinations.  We would surf, safari and sin.  (That is only a half joke.)  I would encourage all sorts of shenanigans.  It's our time off, let's have fun!  :)

Safari

Fall
It's time to say good-bye to adventures and experience autumn the way East Coasters do.  Here I come New York City!  Tim Gunn, my East Coast BFF, would send a limo to retrieve me from the airport.  After settling into my swank loft, we would attend the poshest fashion shows and hobnob with Manhattan's elite.  Theater, fashion and shopping would rank above all else.  Of course, I would be committed to public appearances, but I would still have plenty of time for pampering.  How about it, Tim?

BFF 2

So, that's the plan for now.  What do you think?

Live from Hell...

Every year my family takes a vacation. No two vacations are alike, which in our case is a blessing. Our family vacations tend to bring destruction either to us personally or to the cities we temporarily inhabit. The first family vacation that went awry occurred about 5 years ago. We drove to Tahoe in our old minivan. It was a silvery blue Ford Windstar with the license plate “4MEGALS,” which my father explained signified our Irish heritage and the 4 girls in his life. He nearly always followed up with, “not because I’m Mexican and it’s for Miguel.” He laughed at that joke every time he told it. He laughed alone.

On this particular trip, our car broke down on the mountainous rode into Tahoe. Green goop leaked from somewhere inside the guts of the car. My younger sister, Lindsay, and I decided to broadcast a fake news program to detail the dramatic incidents that unfolded. It started when I held a pretend microphone to my mouth and said, “This is Ashley reporting live from hell…” A tradition was born.

The Griswolds understand.

Since that first fateful broadcast, we’ve been fortunate enough to be renewed season after season to report more catastrophic events in the Summers family vacation series. We travelled to New York the summer of 2001. A few months later, 9/11 happened. The summer before Katrina hit, guess who frolicked on Bourbon Street? On another trip to Tahoe, Lindsay broke her arm sledding down a mountain. These are just some highlights. We have played a part in many natural and man-made disasters over the last decade.

Being stuck in a foreign place with your family might seem like an awful idea. You might be right. Your Mom might insist that she doesn’t have any preference on restaurants even though you ALL know that she wants Coco’s. And then when your Dad suggests it, you’ll want to roll your eyes as she feigns surprise. Your sister might annoy you at night by turning the thermostat to Death Valley-like temperatures and keeping you awake because she hears things outside. But when something major happens, I guarantee you’re going to want the people who would do anything for you by your side. Even if they do embarrass you with mildly offensive racist jokes, at least they’re trying to make you laugh.

*Ashley

Gorgeous

I always find a BCBG dress that I want, and this is no exception:

"Crystallized Floral"

Spring has sprung!

Rant

Photo

Falling asleep is very difficult when you can hear your upstairs neighbor snoring.  That's where I'm at right now.  It's a bad sound like nails on a chalkboard or a tree going through the chipper.  It's worse still because it's constant.  And, I can only imagine how ugly it looks.  Mouth open, nostrils flaring, drool.  So readers, I hope you're frolicking in your dreams while I'm living this nightmare.  Sigh.

This is healthy, right?

It's friends and family time at Gap, BR, Old Navy and most importantly Piperlime.  This is a problem.  Piperlime is all about shoes.  I am all about shoes.  This means danger.  I started out just browsing the Piperlime site.  It quickly evolved into me looking at shoes on every website that offers anything remotely related to footwear.  High-heeled, flat, boot, wedge, flip-flop, slipper...if you can wear it on your feet, I looked (and often lusted).  In honor of my obsession, I will begin posting a "Shoe of the Day" when I find an exceptional buy.  That does not mean I'll purchase said objects of glory, but it does mean that when we're talking, I'm probably thinking about said shoes.  I still love you and all.  :)  

I wear a 7.5.  

Here comes the guest...

Over the past year, I've become an expert at wedding dress shopping.  Hold on.  The Apocalypse has not arrived.  I don't mean bridal gowns...just dresses I wear to weddings.  :)  I found this dress today:

Trina Turk Dress

It's similar to the little black dress - versatile! - but the navy color and lace detail make it more exciting.  I want it. 

Are we in the same class?

I work out at a Dojo.  Basically, it's a karate studio that offers Tae Bo and kickboxing classes.  I love it.  It's the perfect way for me to get out aggression.  Sometimes, though, watching other people exercise can serve as a distraction.  My fellow Dojo-er and friend, Jean, sent me this link.  Anyone who attends group exercise classes will sympathize.  Maybe I take my rhythm for granted, but what is going on with these people? 

Starvation, Party of 1

Living on your own presents a unique set of challenges: budgeting, cleaning and worst of all cooking. I’m honest with myself. My cooking skills are elementary at best. I boil water. I toast. I microwave things. If it involves chopping, simmering or braising, I’m useless. Side note…what is braising?!?

I received a grill for Christmas last year. I thought it was simple enough to operate – open, insert food, close. This is what happened when I tried to grill chicken.

Luckily, I had a back-up plan.  Or, more accurately, my parents stocked my freezer with pre-made Trader Joe's meals.  To complement my 1/4 breast of chicken, which was all that I could salvage from the two breasts I started with, I made frozen gnocchis.  I'm not sure who Trader Joe is or what exactly he trades, but without him, I would starve.  Here is the finshed result:

It did not necessarily taste good, but I didn't die or burn anything down.  Success. 

Stay tuned for more misadventures in cooking.  And in the meantime, any suggestions for good take-out?

*Ashley

Friendship: Elizabeth Style

About 2 years ago, I met Elizabeth. She’s my Soul Mate. It’s not like that. We just share the same soul –fabulous. We talk about everything even if it’s uncomfortable because frankly, those topics make us laugh the hardest. We bonded over our love of pump cheese, ‘that’s what she said’ and making fun of people. All friendships should be built upon such rigorous criteria.

Elizabeth is the type of friend that goes beyond the normal limits of friendship, “I will give you a long hug and smell your hair if that's what's missing in your life. I'm sure it smells wonderful, and that's the kind of thing I'm willing to do for you.”

When you get hurt, she actively seeks justice, “My hatred is strong out in the solar system. My reach is far.”

She puts things into perspective when you feel low, “You should actually be glad that you’re not stuck with him or we’d all be saying ‘That Ashley is with a real loser.’ Doesn’t that make you happy?”

Elizabeth gives honest advice with a tinge of humor to make you feel better, “It's annoying when everyone is telling you things will get better. I will be truthful for you. It sucks, and it will suck, so you should wallow in your sadness and let your heart fill with rage. Eat a lot or take up drinking or smoking. That makes you feel better.”

I hope everyone has a friend like Elizabeth to lift your spirits, lighten your load and share ridiculous moments with. Happy 30th birthday, Elizabeth! You’re not getting any younger! :)

Catie, me, Elizabeth

I am me.

This is my life.

It is random.

Mulleticious

It can be intense.

Whack Jack

It might make you think...

The Thinker

but more often, it will make you laugh!

Let me be your favorite distraction.  ;)

*Ashley